Let me tell you a word or two about the most inspiring book I have ever read in my life. A sensitive soul, as I am, merry- go-round of tragedies circled my life right from the age of my reason. When I was in my teens, I visualized death, felt pang of separation-horror of murder, climax of tension and stress. My sensitive soul became a troubled one. Oh! What could ail my troubled soul? I thought constantly. Am I born to suffer? The question further accelerated my distress. It made me a silent boy, not very much interested in sports, the result of my not so good physique. My adolescent age thus passed wandering about the probable answers to my multiplying complex questions.
The springs of the Nature changed several times so my winters; questions increased, so increased my level of stress and anxiety. Apart from multiple complexities, the most important question that pricked my mind every now and then was that of my identity. Who am I? The most complex complexities was also attached to it- the most powerful fear that human loves to fear- the fear of Existence- the fear of Death. My sensitive troubled soul further entered into the world of confusion. It made me so fearful that it controlled my entire conscience without giving me a relief for a second. My over heightened anxiety seriously affected my physical well-being and I was critically ill. I was at the most sensitive stage of my life as I started feeling acute ache in my chest more than the beating of the African drums. My body was in the stage of serious weakness. My energy became energy less energy; hope became hope less hope. I was hospitalized for many days and was under medication. Several CT scans, blood test was done; the report was normal but surprisingly my pain increased. Was it my physical ailment or serious soul crisis? The matter further confused my confusing soul. Sometimes, it would ache so much so that I almost gave hope and thought that I would breathe my last in the next few seconds. I was seriously struggling for my life but still my soul was searching for a satisfactory answer. My thoughts, my life- everything was travelling through the directionless direction.
My destiny was near doom, but before I crossed the danger line, in my ever-losing stage, I came through a book entitled Bhagawad Gita. This was the first time I met my everlasting companion of life. When I started going through its mesmerizing lines, I could relate my distress with that of Arjuna’s, who was reluctant to fight the battle at the beginning with his excessive anxiety. When I further progressed through its lines, the experience, I got, could not be explained in any possible rhetorical lines ever. I felt as if he is saying me, “Get up! you confused soul, and see your real identity.” Interestingly my pain started subsidizing, which gave me more energy to read more and more of it. It was like- the more I read the text, the more I wanted to read, the more I read, the more I wanted, and so it is and has become ‘never ending more’ to the reading of Bhagawad Gita, as I came to know it is the perpetual journey which never comes to an end.
Seriously, when I was reading the text, I forgot my pain. I didn’t want any answers anymore. It was so complete, so sublime, so aesthetic- no further answer or explanation was needed. My pain was in its lowest limit, and my mind was as calm as a silent breeze. I felt as if I was in the state of Complete Completeness. My company gave me everything. Interestingly, my entire questions were answered without any hardship. The day I came to know about my identity, I was awestruck. Now I wander why Arjuna was speechless when he saw Bishwarupa of Lord Krishna. I came to know that we all are a part of Super-soul. Super- soul is everything, life- death, fear- courage, in fact this entire existence. The fear of my death faded away as I came to know Super-soul is everything and we are the part of everything, we are the part of existence, we are the part of immortality and for this realization we have mortal body.
All other things like my name, small fame became secondary to me as my friend told me about my identity. My friend, my book made me realize that I am the part of eternal existence, infact we all are the part of super-soul, so we have to come to our full potentiality. It really gave me the required energy to step up firmly and move on in life. My creative energy overflowed so I started writing and completed few books. My friend further advised me that our identity needs to be clear and that we are a Part of Super-soul but not the Super-soul itself, A clear message that we should not have an Ego in our identity; because the day we have an Ego and a sense of pride with our name, small fame or the material attainments, our connection with super-soul will lose its way, affecting our potentiality and peace.
My friend was with me whenever I looked for him; he taught me to do my duty without expecting anything in return and told me that I would get inner satisfaction. He also taught me to maintain stability of mind, and to see success and failure in the same temperament. He taught me to think beyond life and death, pleasure and pain, material or spiritual life. He brought me back to life, fed me with the ray of hope, gave me energy to move on in life. I had never met such a companion nor shall I ever meet in coming days. I seriously love his companionship, so every day I go through his line, and try to follow his good advice. What a good friend he is! Always present, always positive, always inspiring, and most important never expecting anything in return of his company.
Truly, he gave me power, a new life, hope, aspiration, courage, infact everything, so my small essay is dedicated to him.
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